Words: Corey Adams
I awoke about 2 hours before my alarm this morning. Usually, it is a big meeting, a job kickoff, or something work-related that brings about my extra early arousal, but today was different. I was dragged right out of a good night’s sleep into immediate alertness by something I heard in passing in a meeting the day before. In those early hours this morning, it consumed my mind.
If you have read more than one of my articles over the years, you know I mention human nature often. It is important to understand how we are wired and how to overcome the faulty wiring. This one hit me pretty hard this morning. Human nature causes us to have the desire to be agreed with. If you want me to put it bluntly, we need our egos stroked.
When we first become a little successful as business owners, we start to get that urge fed. People around us tell us how proud they are, start to treat us differently, or probably the worst is when people start trying to be your friend after writing you off for the last decade. We accept it all because it is that ego stroke we desire and need. It is the satisfaction that people are noticing our sacrifices and that we are coming up in the world.
Where we as business owners get in trouble is when we let this desire to have our egos stroked affect our hiring decisions, especially when we are hiring management positions, inner circle, and executives.
Let me ask this: when was the last time someone in management questioned you? Do you have anyone in your company that will push back? I am not talking about incoherent challenges out of frustration. I am talking about a well-thought-out challenge to your ideas, methods, systems, and ego. A polite, professional, and business-first discussion on why they disagree.
As some companies grow, their owners crave more of that ego feed. They start to surround themselves with managers, vice presidents, division heads, and more, with people who hang on every word they say, never question, and, in reality, are just an enforcement arm of whatever the owner wants. A pawn in the game is just hoping to keep their job, regardless of how the business is; this is not progress. This is self-absorption to the highest. Putting your ego in charge of the business.
A good manager in a company thinks like a business owner. They have their own thoughts and ideas. They also need to have a healthy blend of honoring the owner and questioning them. It is no secret that I worked for my father in my younger days. We worked very well together for one reason: we weren’t afraid to call each other a dumba** when the other one needed to hear it. We both made mistakes, miscalculations, and blunders, but it would have been 100 times worse without each other keeping us in check. We were probably a little too blunt with each other at times, but we both knew that the business was first, and we were replaceable.
It may sound funny because it really is, but there is a relationship between a person’s wallet and their head. As the wallet swells up from all the success, the head swells up as well. Humility is overshadowed by purchasing power. Our egos take over and drive us to make more ego-based decisions. The scary part is that as the head swells, it impedes the wallet from swelling faster. The more ego we have in our company, the slower it will grow, or even worse, bring it tumbling down. The correlation between success and ego is real. How we handle it shapes our futures.
If you really want to see your wallet swell, stop hiring yes-men. Stop hiring over-paid ego strokers and start hiring people who question, challenge, think, listen, and have enough balance to help your business grow, not just say yes.